Treatment towards your Wife


By Sami Zaatari




Anti-Islamics are always claiming that Islam is unfair towards women, that Islam is an anti-women faith, and that Muslim men can treat their wives badly as mere properties they say. But are these claims true? Or are they just made up propaganda against Islam as many of their other claims? Well we shall let  Allah the true God answer this question for us, here is what the true God tells us concerning how we should treat women/wives:


YUSUFALI: O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness, that ye may Take away part of the dower ye have given them,-except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good.


So as you can see, Muslim men are forbidden from marrying ladies against their will, so forced marriage is not allowed in Islam. Secondly, we are not allowed to treat them with harshness, basically we must not treat them badly, and since we aren't supposed to treat them badly this logically means we should treat them kindly. As the verse says, we must live with them in kindness and equity. So does this sound like the Quran is anti-women?


Let us post Ibn Kathirs commentary concerning this verse:


Al-Bukhari recorded that Ibn `Abbas said about the Ayah,

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(O you who believe! You are not permitted to inherit women against their will,) "Before, the practice was that when a man dies, his male relatives used to have the right to do whatever they wanted with his wife. If one of them wants, he would marry her, give her in marriage, or prevent her from marriage, for they had more right to her than her own family. Thereafter, this Ayah was revealed about this practice,

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(O you who believe! You are not permitted to inherit women against their will).''


So you see Islam came and improved the rights of women, as the commentary shows, before Islam came a widow could be married off to other male relatives without her will, or they could even prevent her from future marriages, they could basically do whatever they pleased with her! Islam came and abolished this practice granting the women the right to marry whom she wants.


The commentary continues:


Live With Women Honorably

Allah said,

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(And live with them honorably), by saying kind words to them, treating them kindly and making your appearance appealing for them, as much as you can, just as you like the same from them. Allah said in another Ayah,

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(And they have rights similar over them to what is reasonable) [2:228]. The Messenger of Allah said,

(The best among you is he who is the best with his family. Verily, I am the best one among you with my family.) It was the practice of the Messenger of Allah to be kind, cheerful, playful with his wives, compassionate, spending on them and laughing with them. The Messenger used to race with `A'ishah, the Mother of the Faithful, as a means of kindness to her. `A'ishah said, "The Messenger of Allah raced with me and I won the race. This occurred before I gained weight, and afterwards I raced with him again, and he won that race. He said,


(This [victory ] is for that [victory].)'' When the Prophet was at the home of one of his wives, sometimes all of his wives would meet there and eat together, and they would then go back to their homes. He and his wife would sleep in the same bed, he would remove his upper garment, sleeping in only his lower garment. The Prophet used to talk to the wife whose night it was, after praying `Isha' and before he went to sleep. Allah said,

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(Indeed in the Messenger of Allah you have a good example to follow) [33:21]. Allah said,

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(If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good.) Allah says that your patience, which is demonstrated by keeping wives whom you dislike, carries good rewards for you in this life and the Hereafter. Ibn `Abbas commented on this Ayah, "That the husband may feel compassion towards his wife and Allah gives him a child with her, and this child carries tremendous goodness.'' An authentic Hadith states,

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(No believing man should hate his believing wife. If he dislikes a part of her conduct, he would surely like another.)


So as you can clearly see, Muslim men MUST treat their wives properly, with kindness, compassion, and love. This is confirmed by the Quranic verse, the hadiths, and the commentary which quoted the hadiths. As usual the anti-Islamics are caught making things up!


And indeed Allah Knows Best!